Eschatology

Eschatology

(From The Thurles Herald, 13th January 2012)

We would like to remind all our readers that the next end –of-world- is scheduled for Friday, 21st December. Accordingly, we will be publishing our Christmas special one week early, and any small ads or community stories for submission should be received no later than Tuesday, 18th December.

A number of events have been planned to mark the occasion, and the local Arts committee will be confirming the exact venues and timings over the coming months, but we understand that the provisional festivities include:

–       A vintage tractor parade on the main square (led by the Four-Horsepower Men of the Apocalypse);

–       Face painting and puppet show for all ages;

–       The resurrection of the dead (the road from the cemetery will be closed from midnight on Thursday 20th to accommodate expected additional pedestrian numbers);

–       The fusion of all life in spiritual union of light and consciousness or  The Rapture (depending on local availability);

–       Bouncy castle in the rugby club;

–       A number of local bands on stage from 2pm onwards, immediately after the parade (including special guests Archangel Gabriel & the seven trumpets).

Weather permitting, the Thurles Astronomical Society will be setting up the telescopes on the roof of the shopping centre car park every evening, beginning the previous Saturday, for anyone who would like to watch Planet X as it approaches on its collision course (admission is free). There will be no viewings on Thursday or Friday night, however Planet X should be clearly visible through ordinary binoculars.

Fr. Dawkins has warned that masses are expected to be unusually well attended in the preceding week, and has asked that all parishioners arrive ten minutes earlier than usual so that services can begin on time. There is no mass scheduled for Saturday 22nd, so the annual carol service will be held at a special midnight mass on Wednesday 19th instead.

Cllr. O’Brien has announced that the local council workers will be on hand to repair road surfaces as and when the swelling of the Earth’s crust due to overheating of the molten core causes any significant cracks. However, this is likely to become increasingly problematic as the day wears on and the very fabric of existence begins to unravel, so traffic delays are to be expected in the afternoon and early evening.

The Arts Centre will be holding an exhibition of Mayan artefacts depicting the end of the Great Cycle of the Long Count throughout the month of December, and we are especially pleased to note that the local youth theatre group will be staging a musical based on the Popol Vuh to mark the opening of the exhibition. Tickets are available from the box office (10am-5pm, Mon-Sat) and we have a pair of tickets to give away to the winner of this week’s crossword competition (see page 32).

Finally, Met Eireann are predicting a Fimbulwinter for most of December, so be sure to read our supplement on home insulation idea’s, in next week’s edition.

Adam McGrath © 24th January 2012-01-28

The Source Writers Group

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *