In the haze of my drug-induced state, I could clearly see the pale faced child, tentacles of curls encasing his small elf like face.  Head bent in concentration colouring in his assigned project.

Knees uncomfortable, pushed up against the bottom of the small school desk, (did the authorities think we would never grow up).  The echo from footsteps stopped!  Miss Dray’s voice seemed a long way off her words barely audible.    “Benjamin your colours are excellent very well chosen, only try and keep your colouring inside the borders. The comment went completely over my head I was lost in my project.  I developed a self-induced deafness at the mention of boundaries or borders or limitation’s. My inspiration, my daydreaming always ignited by colours, by the challenge to complete a project in a different way.

Game boy three dimensional games images so real the line between human and imaginary becomes blurred. Young scientist competitions challenged me to pushing past the logic and making dreams my reality.Internet apps made me a rich man, never realised how much I had acquired until my last will and testament was drawn up.  The hardest part of success was tearing apart the walls that were put up against my dreams . Once the money came, dreams become easier to achieve.  Now, I lie here hooked up to pain medication allowing me to dream my way into death.

I thank the big guy in the sky for my gifts.  Daydreams solidified into reality.   Reality now played in my subconscious.  Images of faces I know appearing, taking a last look. No smiles just a quick look and the next face appears so clear I can see the colour of their eyes.  My subconscious goodbye to all.   The best part of my life saved to the last, carefully stored in my memory banks marked good.

Tianna, we bonded at college, my perfect partner in every way.  We ran with the waves chasing our ankles, laughing like children in the summer night.  Her pert shaped bottom emulated by the moonlight. My man hood fully aroused as I chased Tianna, her golden curls joining in the laugher dancing on her slender shoulders.  Our isolated island bungalow gave us great joy. We sated our lust and lay entwined in our outdoor hot tub, contentedly looking up at the velvet black sky and the vast array of stars with the moon thrown her light across the tub for good measure.

Gone, vanished, taken away her car failed to take a bend on the same type of starry night.    How could two nights be so different? One heaven. One hell.

Steps to heaven or avoiding the continuing rage of hell fires, a pararell with the life I have been living.

Whichever new address I end.  Looks as if boundaries will be well and truly drawn for me.     Fantastic as the tunnel light of life narrows’ I can still see Tianna’s cute little bottom clearly as the pinprick of life’s light disappears.

Rosemary O’Shea © 2014




Let The Dead Bury The Dead

Let the dead bury the dead.

Buy your plot now!  Yes In this modern world of consumerism, even your last resting place is rising in price.    Hope’s may be dashed that perhaps you cannot be laid to rest with your kith and kin of past generations in the old graveyard by the old church.  Most churches are looking for new burial grounds.  We are an aging population it is hard to keep up with demand.

Bones are just that, bones.

Do you worry where yours will be resting? Spirit or soul whichever definition you care to use is the first to leave from what we recognize as our human form.

Apologies if I have offended your belief, or stirred some thought in the non-beliver, which neither may wish to address.

Palms: Matthew: 8.21.22 or Luke: 9.60 texts quote the disturbing answer our Lord gave to his new disciple when he sought leave to go and bury his father. “Let the dead bury the dead”.

These words shock our very traditional belief.  How? Can this Lord of love possible ask one to turn away without a final goodbye to our beloved ones?

The covering of our bones by flesh and the adequate working of the all-important internal organs are the basic requirements we need to live life, as we know it…  However, what about living?  Can there be any living without religious belief.   Of course there is.  Laughter, depression, tears, lust, love, hate, everyday emotions continue day by day.

Death is the big happening.  The Final Day.

Trying to understand our Lord’s reply to his follower thrusts forth thoughts of confusion to the forefront of our mind.  Is the Lord asking that we disregard all love for family and connections?

We must move past this way of thinking.  What is not visible, that is spirituality. Essence of heart and soul combined in our own private tabernacle

From dust, you came and to dust you shall return.

Yes, individual specks of dust blowing every such way. Then the creator decided to give these specks human form. (Adam and Eve)

So grieve not for the body, be happy your soul experienced love to carry forward until the great resurrection.  Our Lord rouses in the completeness of body and soul.

However, we poor mortals will travel different paths. Our soul will have to await The Final Resurrection (the end of our world as we understand it) when our cosmetic coats of skin and bones will be joined by our everlasting soul so we may be recognized and greeted by the family we once thought buried.

Rosemary O’Shea