Sojourn in the Devil’s Lair

 

Sojourn in the Devil’s Lair  By Angie Mullins

 

A shuffling creep with a twisted leg:

My first encounter with the living dead.

He gestured me into his home

I felt as though I should atone

For all my sins- I was made felt

That I was going straight to hell.

Alas, the joke it was on me-

I had just entered hell, you see.

 

Then his wife, a terrible demon

Conceived of some abysmal semen

Did grace us with her presence thus.

My insides turned to instant mush:

What hatred dwelt behind her eyes!

I near fell to my knees and cried.

Such cruelty in the hearts of men

Are found within the coven’s den.

 

Her sister then I chanced to meet,

Her cloven hooves concealed by feet.

The grey pant-suit and 80’s hair

Could not quite hide her fork-tongued tail.

Her puckered scowl which didn’t bend:

The image of a cat’s rear end.

I dared not move, I couldn’t rest

Embedded in that vipers’ nest.

 

For two long weeks I battled bravely

Against these fiends- my chances gravely

Faltered yet I strongly fought

Until the day in which I caught

A lucky break, and so I fled.

Another week and I’d be dead.

I wept with tears of joy abundant;

Relief as such makes fear redundant.

 

And so I’ve tried repress this tale:

It marks a most unpleasant fail.

An ink blot in the copy book

Which rather smarts-I seldom look.

But yet today I did receive

From skulking Pant-Suit (scowl of glee)

A bill to pay, a handsome fare

For my sojourn in the Devil’s lair.